A trip to Target for Christmas shopping...


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At first everything was normal, looking for presents for some kids in my family. Then I started noticing the continued influence of skateboarding on product marketing, and how off kilter it is compared to real skateboarding. It seems like the only elements needed to make something "skate" is a kid and a skateboard. They don't have to be doing anything at all really, as long as there is a board and a kid.
Like this folder: A photo of a dude dropping in on a ramp. Really? No tweaked Christ-Air? No Aerial period? Diminished expectations.
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Again, A kid and a skateboard. What is he doing? Did they just get a trampoline and set it up in a studio? This was a huge poster! The kid is doing absoluetly nothing. I little piece of me died when I saw this.
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Oh yeah, you can tell by the dirt on my wheels that I'm gnarly. And if you weren't sure, look at my face. Do I look like I am messing around? The clothing below me is for "serious" skaters only. If you can't party like me, then don't even shop here.
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The same goes for me. What he said but with snowboarding.
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Now that I can buy a mini Hubba Hideout, why would I need to hone my skills, take a trip out to San Francisco, and possibly get hurt trying to skate the real thing? Stupid! I can just sit on my ass and play fingerboard on it. Then when my fingers are warmed up, I'll get 48 million points on my skateboarding video game.
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Then I went over to the sporting goods area and saw some very interesting stuff. Great ideas for Toy Machine ads actually! Sneaky meaningless catchphrases is what we are all about!
"Huck Jam" 5 inch "heavy Duty" "heat treated" trucks? What does that mean?
Wheels are a "pro street/park" shape? The shaps is good for both street AND park! Perfect!
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9 plys? And wait, the SHAPE is "pro concave w/ double kicktail"? Sweet.
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I will be doing a slide show this Sunday at Family bookstore in LA. I can answer any questions you may have and sign books too.

And for you people from the northeastern USA, I am in a show at the Center for Photography at Woodstock if you feel like getting out there!

And check out the coverage of the SLAP Portfolio show!

And a binus link: Memory-Screened.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of my trip to Target tomorrow...
Posted December 10th, 2008 by Winona Judd smuggles dildos on planes
haha this post kicks ass and it's my birthday!

holla!
Posted By: mikeyb on December 10th, 2008 at 02:43PM PST
that is some funny stuff im really looking forward to target part duex haha
Posted By: theponderer on December 10th, 2008 at 03:37PM PST
Please come to Australia and do similar slideshows.

Sincerely,

frustrated
Posted By: frustrated on December 10th, 2008 at 03:59PM PST
It's kind of harsh ripping on kids,but the message is still their despite their age.Plus kids are total douchebags sometimes.
Globe is getting plugged in on that folder,pretty X-TREEM.
That dude with dirty wheels' trucks are still new.
Dude,whenever I go and check out tech decks there's always a load of Toy Machine ones.
Hey,double kicktails is better than no kicktail.I need me some of that pro concave.Heavy duty?That shit got indys?
Dude,I want that Mini hubba hide out.A fucking skatepark on my desk so I can avoid going outside ever again.

Dude,One time I got like over 10,000,000 points on a run in the video game Grind Session.I so beat my brother in versus.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on December 10th, 2008 at 04:17PM PST
Thats it, I've decided... Ed is on crack, obviously.
Posted By: Craig on December 10th, 2008 at 04:25PM PST
I think the heat treated trucks and 9 ply make for better switch nollies.
Posted By: Zach on December 10th, 2008 at 05:53PM PST
devinbriggs.com gets all his fingerboard supplies at the target on adams.
Posted By: devin on December 10th, 2008 at 06:04PM PST
Dude this shit right here pisses me off. Thanx to sheckler and these lame ass target item skateboarding is slowly going more mainstream.
how gay...
Posted By: D Featherston on December 10th, 2008 at 07:23PM PST
in the first picture, is that guy wearing the original marc johnsons? if so, he gets a free pass. and it rained all day today & it will tomorrow so i'd actually enjoy a mini hubba hideout.. for a few minutes.
Posted By: raul on December 10th, 2008 at 07:30PM PST
I'm not saying fingerboarding the Mini Hubba wouldn't be fun, its just funny to see a famous skatespot available in toy form...

Never tried Crack, what do you mean?

Just poking a bit of fun on this stuff. We all see it every day...
Posted By: ed on December 10th, 2008 at 11:44PM PST
and people just accept that shit..
can I say fucking losers?
Posted By: nick on December 11th, 2008 at 12:56AM PST
The last couple of posts have been a bit mental, but seriously don't stop- its hilarious.

Wouldn't it be funny to be able to skate-stop a toy hubba? I think independent released ash trays of iconic pools too.
Posted By: Craig on December 11th, 2008 at 12:58AM PST
Ed thanks for the post. I now know why I suck at park!
I must have street wheels!
Posted By: Ryan on December 11th, 2008 at 03:34AM PST
look at the first picture of the guy dropping in on vert, im pretty sure hes wearing Johnson 1's from back when Marc was on emerica....one of the best shoes of all time!
Posted By: genesis on December 11th, 2008 at 07:38AM PST
fuck, im so glad someone called these assholes out - its been going on for way too long. of course, target doesnt give a shit - they dont even care enough to get kids who can actually skate!! do kids really only care about the facade? as long as they 'look like a skater' thats all that matters - you dont have to actually ride the fucking thing. what an empty, soulless idea. how long can they milk skateboarding? a skateboard isnt a fashion accessory. hubba hideout in a box? i thought the one redeeming thing about fingerboards was building your own shit or doing that shit in the sink! same goes for those x-factor pre-fab launch ramps and qp's - the best memories i have from when i started skating was gathering and building that shit on my own - youre learning how to build stuff - how to solve problems... when a kid buys a ramp in a store hes learning how to be a lazy consumer. kids arent getting diy, instead its biy. thats just depressing!! this whole thing will blow over soon hopefully. until then we have to keep documenting the blatantly offensive retardation...

http://s262.photobucket.com/albums/ii103/jackedcactus3/?action=view¤t=IMG_9173.jpg
Posted By: drane on December 11th, 2008 at 09:10AM PST
Is that Rune???
Posted By: Brian Harte on December 11th, 2008 at 10:56AM PST
holy crap the pics are too hilarious and hideous
hubba hideout forever
Posted By: Eggs McManus on December 11th, 2008 at 11:53AM PST
whoa whoa whoa, wait a second here...hubba hideout is a seven stair......honestly people com on who trhows a shoe?!
Posted By: the dude on December 11th, 2008 at 12:21PM PST
The Hubba Hideout play set is missing several key items: used syringes, shady dudes hanging about, the smell of weed wafting through the air, bike messengers, etc. I've even seen a rooster or two lurking around that square. -Jason
Posted By: sea cliff vert ramp on December 11th, 2008 at 02:03PM PST
hell ya! i went to target today and i saw that poster with the kid in the helmet doing nothing.
at target they kick you out for skating but they promote it inside of thir building...go figure

at least they are trying with the tech deck and not just making mega ramps
Posted By: Alic on December 13th, 2008 at 11:30PM PST
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