Late Nights in London Town

Nocturnal London where the legs flow long, and the light glows from the cobbles.
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Night 1: Happened upon a party for some English girly mag, no doubt attended by porn stars and the like. Suddenly as we are walking by, a group is leaving and the few paparazzi start shooting and the attention grubbing ballet ensues.
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"Lemme open the trunk for you guys..."
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"Fuck you leave us alone... But don't stop shooting us."
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"Fuck you but check out my undies!"
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Walked by a closed shop with a dance party inside. Same night.
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The English really like to party.
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Farting on her head as I walked by...
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Night 2: *NOT PICTURED* But there's a story: So Deanna and I are walking along Regent street towards Picadilly Circus and we see ahead of us a very tall dude talking to two girls. As we pass I get a quick look at his face - he's trying to pick up these girls. Then it hits me, its fucking ANDREW BYNUM from the Los Angeles Lakers! We stop and Deanna asks him for a photograph. He declines, stating that he can't be photographed. Deanna asks him why and he says, "Because I look like a douche in these clothes." It was cold and raining out, and he was in a t-shirt with a plunging V-neck, and a NY Mets hat. (I think) And possibly wearing sweat pants, we couldn't tell. The girls, who he was not making any headway with, are now asking us, "Who is this?" And Bynum does the 'shush' sign at us and says, "Don't tell them who I am." And then he just walks off. The girls ask us again. We say that's Andrew Bynum, center for the LA Laker's Basketball team. They have no idea, being both English and women, but they do realize he is a famous basketball player since we wanted a photo with him, and ask, "Is he loaded?" We say, "Yeah, he makes a shitload of money." And with that, the girls run after him. We are left befuddled. We decide to chase after him too. Deanna is determined to get the photo. So we catch up to him, and he is trying to talk up two more girls, "How old are you girls?" "18." Deanna stands next to him, I walk in front and yell, "Bynum!" He looks and I snap a photo of the 7 footer next to the 5+ Deanna. He says, "Why you gotta do me like that? Can I see the photo?" So now I'm negotiating with Andrew Bynum. I show him the photo, and he asks me to delete it. He says again, "I look like a douche." We are pleading with him, "You do not look like a douche!" He asks again, very politely, "Can you delete that? I'll give you anything else, an autograph, whatever." So I delete it, but instantly regret it. He walks off and there we are left with nothing but a dumb story about seeing an LA Laker in London. he was in town to watch the Manchester United soccer team get beat by FC Barcelona.
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Waiting for the tube is a proper place to lurk.
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Night 3: Grant, Deanna and I are out trolling the streets for photos of leggy women in car headlights, and whatever other slices of life we can find in enough light to register on our strips of celluloid.
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We are lingering around some club called Movida, because there is good light and lots of fancily dressed people coming to and from. We are watching the dynamic of the line and the door. Groups of women dressed fabulously slutty walk to the front of the line and try to get in, some make it in, some get denied. Many people are waiting for hours to get in. (apparently, after you are deemed well-dressed or hot enough, to get in, you still have to pay 25 quid for the privilege of being judged.) Suddenly this kid Alexandre comes up to me. He is a skater and he grew up watching me skate and do art stuff. He says, "I'm working at this club tonight, you want to come in and have a drink? I would love to offer you a drink." We declined at first, not wanting to explain that I don't drink, blah, blah. But he asks again. We say, "Fuck it why not?"
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So we walk up to the door behind Alex, cutting right ahead of those people we had watched waiting for so long and he speaks with the doorman, who then looks over at our clothes, and down at our shoes and makes a grimaced face. The people in line must have been tripping that our group of undressed nerds with cameras were even trying to get in. They talk some more and the doorman waves us in. Commence the house music and lasers.
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We needed to show the contrast between the typical dress code for this joint, and what we were wearing. I see some blue undies.
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That dress exploded my mind.
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Wooo Hoooo!
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"Wait, who the fuck is that guy?"
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I drank whatever the guy handed me, I think it was orange juice.
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Grant shot some with my camera...
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We became Cobra Snake Lazer Lizard for a few minutes.
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You know where I be...
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Thanks Alex for making our night.
Posted June 2nd, 2011 by Julie Andrews and Kate Beckinsale have at least kissed.
I scrolled by this, and since my computer is slow I just saw all these neon lights. So you guys actually partied? Yeah, those ladies, don't seem attractive at all.

Great story about the Basketball star. I missed the game since I was at work. Messi,Iniesta,Rooney. Fuuuuck. I'm down with Barcelona though.

Licking the nipple shaped opening to her plastic containers that attract mates. Thanks for the close up. Lovin' that hot pink cell phone case.

Are those people really posing for photos by strangers?

Regent Street. Picadilly. I'm trying hard to resist. To refuse.Refusal.

That photo,totally looks like you're drinking spiraling green DNA or some shit.

I like the photo of the woman ignoring you with your camera.
You guys.the nerdy Americans.

25 quid. Looks who knows his lingo. Spend some notes.

I was bagging a Woman's groceries at work. She was wearing a fur trimmed long jacket. She was old,had her hair up. And an english accent. her outfit made sense after I heard her speak.

Oh yeah,and I saw my Ex girlfriend walking around at this local event that was going on. Her father was a participant. It was weird seeing him after like a year,and he didn't see me,gladly,since he was kinda the focus of attention along with the others he was with. Anyway,i was with my current girlfriend so I just split as soon as I saw her. Didn't want her to find me lingering around since her father was in my vicinity where I was sitting on the curb. It was weird after it being over a year. I could quote a certain song off of Meat is Murder. but I wont. Resistance.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on June 2nd, 2011 at 12:29AM PST
Track 8
0:45
Posted By: Jgonzalez on June 2nd, 2011 at 12:31AM PST
I can totally recover that photo with some undelete restore action!
Posted By: Hemlock Drew on June 2nd, 2011 at 12:54AM PST
How Hemlock?
Posted By: ed on June 2nd, 2011 at 09:07AM PST
This post has opened my eyes.In fact they almost popped out of my face!
These legs, these colors, Ed euroclubbing!!, Yee-haw!

You will be in the bar with your head on the bar?
Looks like you were the oldest guy in that joint,but the best dressed.
On the other hand, you wouldn´t have the legs to compete.Sorry.
But what´s up with your desert expedition wear in a club?
Do you always feel cold?

"Why so many eyes, Ed?" To capture all these legs!
Damn, these girls are young, like "almostmydaughteryoung".
Is it some unwritten law in london to throw skin like that?
You never buy a pig in a poke with these girls.
Totally legblind but it feels okay.
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I think that nipple pic is a good example why we invented the megapixel.
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Story about getting a drink handed by someone you don´t know.
There´s this famous german chorister that went to the Loveparade,
wich is/was Europe´s biggest techno rave. He thought it might be some cool promotion stunt and it would help him getting more connected with an younger audience.But that younger audience thought it would be „mega“ connecting to get the guy on the same mode as everyone else,
so they dropped him some ecstasy in his drink, turning that guy into a 14 hour mess at age 70.

He got over it and enjoyed telling the story in interviews and talkshows.
You could tell he really enjoyed his trip since he always had this glance
when he got asked about it.I don´t know how it would work with a vegan.

Looking at your expression.A spontaneous suggestion?
Sect Energy drinks?All soy and stuff?
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That Byrom incident story is awesome.Totally visualized the whole shabang.But what´s strange to me...
He thinks he looks like a douche but wants to pick up girls looking
like that and on top of that he doesn´t want them to know who he is.
So he totally turned on the charm?Cool.
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Grant´s working on a signature countenance?The Eurosceptic.
But isn´t that strip like a euro version of HB?
At least what I can tell from your pictures.
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How´s Arnold doing?
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Post update while I wrote this comment....
I see. That Basketball player does look like a douche.
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Jgonz, so your milf hunting ended with a current girlfriend?
Posted By: S on June 2nd, 2011 at 09:34AM PST
awesome awesome post.
hilarious.
they named a hunting jacket after our fearless leader:
http://www.penfieldusa.com/us/templeton-olive.html
Posted By: Eggs McManus on June 2nd, 2011 at 11:17AM PST
check out phonica on 51 Poland St. where folks get their music. then go to fabric 'cause it's bloody massive!
Posted By: das lurch on June 2nd, 2011 at 11:29AM PST
"They have no idea, being both English and women"....absolutely funny, great story, awesome pics
Posted By: Jesse CROOKS EPTX on June 2nd, 2011 at 01:11PM PST
Why in almost every country homeless people are wearing warm clothes, regardless of weather? Because they have no wardrobe. Heh, I tried to wear like that for a 5 years because different reason. It's boiling.
Posted By: sect on June 2nd, 2011 at 02:25PM PST
this post ruled!
Posted By: vinny on June 2nd, 2011 at 03:52PM PST
I'm loving the added illustration.
Haha.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on June 2nd, 2011 at 06:33PM PST
I haven't lurked for quite some time, but I'm back. And on the day I come back, there's nipple waiting for me haha. This post was funny
Posted By: Mike on June 2nd, 2011 at 08:27PM PST
farted on her head as i walked by. YES
Posted By: Mike on June 2nd, 2011 at 08:38PM PST
Holy shit this post is amazing.

That is all.
Posted By: Jacob on June 3rd, 2011 at 03:45PM PST
I just finished lurking all the posts I missed. Looks like you had the best time in Europe haha
Posted By: Mike on June 3rd, 2011 at 06:30PM PST
i think i enjoyed reading the story more than i would have actually seeing the picture.

ed google how to recover deleted photo's on memory cards. lots of stuff comes up. it might be possible.
Posted By: ryan on June 3rd, 2011 at 10:52PM PST
Why did you tweet this again?
No more comments?
Posted By: Jgonzalez on July 5th, 2011 at 11:16PM PST
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